InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Lions and lambs ain't asleep."

Andromeda Tonks (its_tonks_now) wrote,
@ 2008-04-03 23:55:00

I am having a difficult time deciding whether I should expose my daughter to the realities of what has been going on in our world or if I should shield her from it. She's still so young, but I don't want her to be completely naive. If, Merlin forbid, this gets much worse and we had to go into hiding for some reason, I don't know what I'd tell her. My initial instinct is to be blatantly honest about it, but I'm afraid that would be too much for her. Ted's better at this sort of thing than I am. I just hate that I'm even having this problem. She should be growing up in a peaceful time.

I think for now, I'll just keep shielding her from it all. If it gets much worse, I don't see how I can do that, but I guess it's something Ted and I need to discuss. Maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills, but somehow I doubt that.

On a happier note, Dora's spelling and reading skills are excelling beyond what I'd expected. She read a story to me all by herself today. And then we made a picture frame out of popsicle sticks and macaroni noodles for her to use to frame the picture she drew for Ted while he was working. I think it'll go nicely on the mantle.

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	sagelily 2008-04-04 04:53 am UTC (link)
	It's really sad when people such as yourself (or anyone, really) have to start contemplating how they're going to tell their children about what's going on as a result of this ridiculous war. I'm sorry you have to make such a decision. (Reply to this) (Thread)

its_tonks_now
2008-04-04 01:12 pm UTC (link)

It's frustrating because as a mother, I want to shield her from everything bad and hurtful; I want to protect her and let her go on thinking that all is right in her little world. I don't want her to know that there's a much bigger, more sinister and harsh world beyond what she imagines. Yet at the same time, it seems wrong for me to keep her in the dark.

I wish we could all see the world through the eyes of a child. I feel like things would be so much more simple, and we wouldn't be dealing with all this hate and devastation.

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sagelily
2008-04-04 06:26 pm UTC (link)

Perhaps the best thing to do is to let her slowly discover it herself? That way, she slowly starts to realise that maybe something isn't right, at which time you should then tell her. It seems to be the only medium and the one that has her best interest at heart.

I wish the same too. Things would be a lot more simple. ~~James wants~~ James and I have recently been talking about having a family one day, but we're both reluctant to even try because of this war.

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its_tonks_now
2008-04-05 05:13 am UTC (link)

That's something to think about. It's like trying to choose the lesser bad choice out of nothing but bad choices. I wish it hadn't come to this, but it has and it's such a shame.

I hate that the future of blossoming families is being put into jeopardy because of the war. It makes me very sad. I hope that when the two of you decide the time is right, that you will indeed expand your family. Being a mother is the most rewarding experience I've ever had. Even though it's hard raising a child during times like this, I can't tell you how happy my daughter makes me. It's like witnessing a miracle everyday.

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	lallylady 2008-04-04 01:07 pm UTC (link)
	Jamie and I haven't told Oliver anything about what's going on- but then, he's much younger than Dora is. I'm not sure- I suppose I like the idea of all of this coming to an end before Ollie's old enough to really be exposed to it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

its_tonks_now
2008-04-04 01:17 pm UTC (link)

It's a really tough decision that we're suddenly faced with, and Ted and I have been avoiding it like the plague because it's not something we want to talk about either. Maternal instinct tells me to shield her from it, but not being able to tell her why I don't want her playing outside doesn't seem fair. This is probably one of the hardest obstacles I've had to tackle as a Mum. No answer seems good enough for her.

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	lallylady 2008-04-04 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose Jamie and I don't really talk about it that much, easier. ~~Of course, we only just joined up in fighting, so it's still all very new to us.~~ Though- well, rightly or not, I do feel safe at home, if only because it's so far removed from everything else. Our children deserve the world, yeah? Right now it's just not one good enough to give them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-05 05:09 am UTC (link)
	I imagine it's probably hard for most to talk about. I know it's a touchy subject in my home. I can only hope that we'll continue to feel safe in our homes. Our children deserve so much better than this. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-06 04:38 am UTC (link)
	I think if she's unprepared and something happens, it'll only make it worse, but at the same time, I don't want her to know the evils of the world yet. Its a double edged sword. I miss you, Andi, and I love you all. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-06 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	It really is. I think if I tell her in the broadest terms that "something bad" is going on and that we need to be careful for a while, she'll understand as much as she needs to. We miss you terribly. Come visit us, okay? You know I love you dearly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-06 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	That sounds like a good idea, Andi. At least she'll know something, but not everything. More is going on than any child should know. Aw. You're making me go soft, Andi. Just tell me when and I'll pop over. I don't want to intrude or anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-06 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	It's the best option out of only bad options, I suppose. I really just want to wrap her up and shield her from everything bad, but that's just not possible. You're welcome anytime. We'll be glad to have you, and Dora will be bursting at the seams to see you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-06 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	You're doing the right thing, Andi. Don't think that you're not. You want to protect her, and that's understandable, but she does need to know something. Is right now good? I'm not doing anything at the moment. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-06 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	Sometimes I wish Dora came with an instruction book for situations like this. Sure! We're just making collages out of leaves and twigs Dora found in the yard this morning. If you don't mind a little paste we'd love to see you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-06 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	~~Wouldn't it have been wet though? Wait, I'll get slapped for that~~ Too bad babies don't just come with manuals. Oh, that sounds like fun. As long as she doesn't try to make me eat the paste, I'll be right over. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-06 08:21 pm UTC (link)
	~~You are terrible!~~ It'd certainly make life easier. Nah, we grew out of the paste eating stage two years ago. I think I'll keep your arrival a secret so you can surprise her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-06 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	~~Sorry, Andi.~~ Well, I wouldn't really know, because I don't have any offspring, but what I've seen with Dora, a book on how to do it would be nice. I figured as much, but you can never be too careful. Oh, she's going to go crazy, isn't she? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	its_tonks_now 2008-04-06 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	~~It would've made Ted laugh.~~ She's a doll, but she's a firecracker too. I'm glad though. She's got spirit. Considering you're probably her most favorite person ever? Yeah, be prepared for a flying tackle masked as a hug. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

siriusly_gryffy
2008-04-06 09:29 pm UTC (link)

~~Probably so.~~ Oh, I agree on all of that, and I'd like to add that she's 'Sirius's girl', which makes her basically amazing. Do you let her wear the t-shirt that I had made for her with that on it? ~~If you don't say yes I'll be very upset.~~

Well, she's one of my favorite people too! I would be insulted to receive anything less than that. That's how I greet Remus. You can ask him.

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	its_tonks_now 2008-04-07 12:34 am UTC (link)
	Oh, she wears it a few times a week. She loves to pair it with her dress up fairy wings. I'll take your word for it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	siriusly_gryffy 2008-04-07 12:45 am UTC (link)
	See, that's why I love her! Fairy wings, really? That's an interesting combination. You might as well. He would just confirm it. (Reply to this) (Parent)